Chicken Soup for the Perfectionistic Soul

“Excellence does not require perfection.”

Hello and happy (almost) end of October! If you are a new reader, here, my name is Ragan and I am a licensed therapist in Virginia. I help young adult clients who struggle with anxiety, depression, low self-esteem, and burnout. While the “bread and butter” of my business is seeing individual clients in a 1:1 setting, I have set some big goals for myself and my business this fall and am working on expanding (more details to follow!) beyond just offering 1:1 services to clients who may be looking for mental healthcare.

Working directly on these goals has required me to step outside of my comfort zone and I have noticed some perfectionistic tendencies that have come up along the way. Many of the clients I work with also struggle with similar tendencies and we often discuss how the idea of “perfect” can get in the way of completing tasks. 

If you are reading this and are also trying to manage an inner critic that tells you your ideas are not “good enough yet,” please know that you are not alone and that you and your ideas are good enough no matter where you find yourself/your progress towards your goals as you approach the end of the month. The next time you find yourself struggling with perfectionism, I want you to pause and reflect on one of the reminders below…

Reminders for the Perfectionistic Soul: 

~You are allowed to spend time doing things you love without having any goals attached!

Remember, not every activity has to be tied to your productivity or professional goals. Make time for the activities that help you connect to your humanity and that make you feel alive. Go explore and do something that makes you smile and release the desire to make it “productive.”

~Celebrate yourself when you try something new! 

If you struggle with perfectionism then you might find it difficult to try new things. When you try something new, you might feel uncomfortable with the idea of being a “beginner” and might stop yourself before even getting started. So, if you are taking a chance and trying something new this fall, give yourself a pat on the back for taking a leap of faith in yourself! 

Remember, we all have to start from somewhere.

~The goal is progress, not perfection! 

I want you to think about a goal that you recently accomplished. What steps helped you to achieve this goal? Were there moments when you had to keep moving towards the goal even if you weren’t 100% “ready?” If you waited until things felt “perfect,” you probably would not have started moving towards the specific goal you are thinking about. 

Remember, your decisions don’t need to be “perfect” they just need to get you closer towards the finish line. 

~You do not need to “earn rest.”

Whenever I struggle with this concept I always look to my animals for guidance. I don’t expect my dog or cat to earn their rest, so why do I expect myself to? You know your body & mind best and therefore you get to determine when/how often you take time to rest.

~You are enough as you are, today.

Your worth as a human being is not attached to your productivity or to your work identity. You are worthy and are valuable simply because you exist.

If you find yourself struggling with perfectionism remember to repeat the affirmations above & to make time for the things that make you feel alive.

I hope that these suggestions help you to find meaning, purpose, and value in your daily life outside of (or in addition to) your productivity related goals. I am rooting for you and wishing you the best of luck with your goals! 

If you are interested in additional resources related to perfectionism, I have found the books below to be very helpful:

Presence over perfect 

The Happiness Project 

The Gifts of Imperfection 

Untethered Soul

The Pursuit of Perfect 

If you try out any of the strategies above, tag me on Instagram @vbcounselingcollective and let me know what worked and what didn’t! 

Thanks for being here,

Ragan