Intrusive Thoughts & Ways to Manage them
Have you or someone you loved been troubled by intrusive thoughts that feel scary, overwhelming, and out of character? As a licensed therapist, I specialize in working with young adult clients who are coming to counseling to work through a variety of different concerns. A few of those top concerns include anxiety, depression, and past trauma. Intrusive thoughts impact all of us (and the aforementioned concerns) in various ways, so I end up having a lot of discussions surrounding intrusive thoughts and how to best manage them. While management of any mental health related concern, symptom, or issue looks different for each person, I wanted to share a few tried and true ways to help manage intrusive thoughts for anyone who might be currently struggling to manage them.
So first things first, what are intrusive thoughts?
Intrusive thoughts are just what they sound like. These are thoughts that randomly pop into our heads without warning and may be about a variety of different things (sometimes, troubling, embarrassing, and/or disturbing thoughts).
Examples of Intrusive Thoughts:
-Thinking about something bad happening to someone that you
love.
-Thinking that you are a bad
person and are capable of harming someone that you love.
-Thinking that everyone around you hates you.
-Thinking that you are going to lose control and act out
of character in front of people.
-Imagining yourself saying outlandish and/or offensive
statements to those around you.
Who experiences instructive thoughts?
We all do!!! No matter who you are and what your unique life experiences are, we all experience intrusive thoughts to some extent. So if you are reading this, please let it sink in that you are not alone in this and that there are ways to help manage these types of thoughts when they come up....
Intrusive thoughts may be a symptom in the following DSM-5 diagnoses: -Generalized Anxiety Disorder -Major Depressive Disorder
-Post Traumatic Stress Disorder -Obsessive Compulsive Disorder
*Important reminder: Experiencing intrusive thoughts does not mean that you meet criteria for any of these diagnoses. If you feel that you have several symptoms that may meet criteria for a particular mental health diagnosis, you should get assessed by a licensed professional.*
When might intrusive thoughts occur?
An intrusive thought can pop into your head at any time. Remember, you did not cause the thought to come up, it just appears. We will talk about some common times/places where intrusive thoughts might come up later on. The interventions we discuss will help you to refocus your energy on how you respond to the intrusive thought, rather than focusing on the thought itself.
IF I EXPERIENCE INTRUSIVE THOUGHTS, WHAT CAN I DO ABOUT IT?
So glad you asked! You do not need to feel powerless when/if an intrusive thought comes up. There are ways to find peace and to separate yourself from your thoughts.
Keep reading for 5 helpful ways to manage intrusive thoughts....
#1 TAKE A PAUSE & ACKNOWLEDGE THE THOUGHT
As we’ve discussed, intrusive thoughts can pop into our head at any time (remember, you didn’t ask them to be there, they are simply just there sometimes). You might experience intrusive thoughts while you are driving, in the shower, or while you are trying to sleep. It can be tempting to just ignore your thoughts or try to shove them down, however, I would encourage you to increase your mindfulness and awareness by pausing & acknowledging an intrusive thought the next time it comes up.
Start to take an inventory of your thoughts by writing them down and noting when (time & date) they pop up and what the content is. It will be helpful to refer back to this log, especially during stressful times when you need to be reminded of how far you have come. You can acknowledge the presence of an intrusive thought when it comes up, jot it down if you are able, and then imagine yourself “changing the channel” and allowing your mind to move on to something else.
We will discuss some helpful distraction tools later on.
Increasing your mindfulness & awareness of intrusive thoughts can help you to:
Start to identify patterns/triggers for intrusive thoughts.
Help you to remember that these thoughts come and go and are only here temporarily.
Feel more empowered and able to respond in a better manner over time.
#2 CHALLENGE YOUR THOUGHTS
When we experience intrusive thoughts, it is not the actual thoughts themselves that cause us distress. It is actually our relationship with these thoughts that correlates to our distress. The more we fixate and ruminate on our intrusive thoughts, the more discomfort we begin to feel.
So, instead of trying to fix your thoughts or shaming yourself for having the thought in the first place, try asking yourself these questions:
What evidence do I have to support this thought? What evidence do I have to challenge it?
If a friend came to me & shared that they were having a similar thought, how would I respond to them?
Is this a hypothetical problem/situation?
Is this a fact? What else could be true?
How am I feeling? Are there other stressors in my life that might be contributing to this thought?
What am I in control of? What am I not in control of?
-How can I support myself today?
#3 SPEAK KINDLY TO YOURSELF
The way we talk to ourselves is so incredibly important. I want you to think about a stressful experience you’ve had recently and how you talked yourself through it. Were you kind and caring towards yourself? Or were you harsh and critical? When you mess up, do you view yourself as someone who made a simple mistake or do you view yourself as a “failure?”
We discussed mindfulness & awareness briefly in step #1 but I want you to consider your internal tape and try to increase your awareness of the way you speak to yourself. I promise that this will be a helpful step in starting to move beyond your intrusive thought patterns.
Remember, you cannot control your thoughts, but you can control how you respond to the intrusive thoughts. Consider how it might be helpful to respond to your thoughts in an accepting, nonjudgmental manner.
The next time you experience an intrusive thought, try repeating one of these affirmations out loud and see if it changes your emotional state:
“My thoughts are just thoughts, they are not based in fact.”
“This thought is simply just a visitor, it will come and it will go.”
“I am choosing peace at this moment and am releasing the need to fixate on this thought.”
“I am not abnormal for having intrusive thoughts. Other people experience this too.”
“I accept that this thought is part of my experience right now even though I did not ask it to be here.”
“I trust myself and in my choices.”
“I am a work in progress. I can start again tomorrow.”
#4. GROUND YOURSELF IN THE PRESENT MOMENT
If you experience intrusive thoughts often, it can feel exhausting and defeating. You might often feel overwhelmed and unable to enjoy the present moment because you are having so many thoughts popping into your head at one time. Don’t forget to lean on your self-care hobbies and outlets that help you to find peace and balance during stressful times.
Consider what helps you get out of a negative headspace. Maybe it’s going for a walk in nature, listening to a favorite podcast or playlist, or calling a trusted support person to share about the thoughts you are having. Make time for whatever makes you feel heard, validated, and supported.
#5. UTILIZE YOUR SUPPORT SYSTEM
One of the scariest parts about dealing with intrusive thoughts is feeling like you are alone in your experience. Although it may feel overwhelming right now, think about the people in your life who you can trust and open up to about your feelings.
You don’t have to deep dive into your exact thoughts, symptoms, and concerns, however, you can plant seeds and start letting people in slowly and in a way that is comfortable for you.
As always, if you feel that intrusive thoughts and any associated symptoms are beginning to impact your daily life, you should seek help from a licensed professional. If you are curious about therapy or have questions related to this blog post, please don’t hesitate to reach out to me via email (vbcounselingcollective@gmail.com) or phone: (757) 434-5811.
